Thursday, November 09, 2006

Granny sticks: a story

"How do you ever expect to attract a man?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, just look at you."
"I like this dress. ...why what's wrong with it."
"Did you look at yourself? Here look in the mirror."
"What's wrong with it?"
"Just look in the mirror."
"Ya, so I think I look pretty."
"Pretty. You think you look pretty?"
"um...well, yes. Well, yes I do."
"Which Grandma did you inherit that dress from? A dress like that won't cut it in times like these. It's a dog eat dog world out there. If you want to get a bone you have to play the game."
"How should I dress?"
"More like this. More like me."
"I could never..."
"All that skin. I could never..."
"What?! Believe me you have skin. We can unearth it. Dig a hole through all that ugly, gody, flowery junk."
"Okay, I guess I could give it a try."
And another thing those Granny sticks have to go."
"What's wrong with knitting. It's fun. You have to try it."
"It's fun. You should try it. Yuck! How do you expect to get a man when your hands are always busy with those Granny sticks."
"I like to knit."
"I like to knit. I like to knit. What kinda lam ass attitude is that. Any guy that sees you knit-TIN' is going to run fifty miles in the other direction. You gotta leave those Granny sticks alone and come out dancing with me this week-end."
"I can't this week-end I promised I'd help out at a knitting retreat."
"Oh, forget it. You're a hopeless case. You'll never change. You'll never meet a man. You'll remain my tired old, sad old, old maid friend. Fine that's just fine with me. I'll have the life. You can live through me."
"No, I promise really I promise I want your help. I want to meet a man. I want to have a life. Just not this week-end. Next week-end. Believe me next week, I promise."
"I'll hold you to that."
"but you're wrong about knitting."
"Excuse me!"
"um...I'm just saying..."
"That you get off knitting dishclothes and blanket squares. Ya, that's what scares me. You're a lost cause..."
"Let me finish."
"Here, please just look at this knitting book."

Copyright by Leanne Dyck on November 9, 2006


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